Naked acrobat annoys train station

A naked man attacked people and performed acrobatics at a Bay Area Rapid Transit station in May. – News item today

There are many things about that sentence to ponder, personally.
Have I ever been to a Bay Area Rapid Transit station? Yes.
Have I ever done acrobatics? Yes, as a youth, but poorly.
Have I ever done acrobatics in a train station? Yes, at the 79th street subway station in Manhattan, when I tripped over a sleeping homeless guy and made a dramatic move to keep myself from falling on him. He was grateful I succeeded but unhappy that I tripped on him in the first place, and expressed it with vivid language.
Have I ever been or had a desire to be naked in public? No.
Would I, if I had spent a year a Gold’s Gym? Maybe.

This is the beauty of bizarre news headlines. They spark all kinds of entertaining self-analysis. That’s why I’ve always enjoyed reading tabloid headlines in supermarket checkout lines, although they’ve largely lost their fun edge and have just gone for the latest star wasting away, divorce rumor, or political laugher. What happened to the classics, such as …
Baby Born Talking, Give Winning Lotto Numbers
Midget Flushed Down Commode By Mistake
… and this shining example of crisp writing,
Woman In Suomo Wrestler Suit Assaults Ex-Girlfriend In Gay Pub After She Waved At Man Dressed As A Snickers Bar

Now we only get doozies like, U.S. Financial Recovery Gains Steam. But naked subway acrobat gives me hope.

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